Winning is an “Inside Job”

From my younger years, I’ve found myself being entirely independent. I had the formidable women around me to thank for this. Growing up, my grandma and aunts taught me to be self-sufficient. So, I learnt to be fiercely independent. As a solitary being, my inner strength has been my compass on more than a few occasions.

While I love having a robust support system, I recognise the strong independent “tigress” in me. And as this month is all about women’s empowerment, I want to remind all the ladies out there celebrating International Women’s Day that you have the power within; you just need to unleash it.

I’ve seen this determined side in me emerge when others don’t immediately understand my vision. At times like these, I’ve found leaning on myself and dealing with my feelings internally the way to go. This way, you can return stronger to fight for your position.

Depending on myself during these times and trusting my skills and perseverance helps me focus and achieve my goals. I see this as an “inside job”—one must cultivate this strength internally and intentionally. All of this will have to come from deep inside you. But there are ways to develop this strength; it manifests just like building muscle memory.

1. Know your “why”

What has you jumping out of bed every morning? Having that sense of purpose doesn’t just give me an extra boost of confidence; it also serves as a good compass for me whenever I have to make an important decision.

Your inner strength is fortified when your why is clear, taking away your reliance on others. Know your purpose, and you will find yourself bravely jumping through obstacles to achieve your goals that align with that purpose. And don’t let anyone come between you and your goal.

2. Put yourself first

By this, I mean do everything you can to set yourself up for success: put in the work and time to develop your skills and equip yourself with the ammunition you need to face any hurdle that comes up.

When well-equipped, you have less to fear, which builds your inner strength and cultivates a stronger belief in yourself. This way, you know that you have the power to make things happen.

Putting yourself first does not have to be a selfish act. Whenever I contribute to my goals, it has an indirect yet positive impact on the people around me. In fact, I sometimes feel I care too much about others that I don’t take care of myself enough. But as they ever-so-kindly remind us on aeroplanes, I’ve learnt that you have to help yourself first before you can successfully help others.

3. Face your fears

Is what you’re embarking on something you have not handled before? That can indeed be daunting, but embracing intimidating challenges will increase your confidence and strength.

Being challenged only serves to raise your standards and forces you to grow in ways that staying in your comfort zone can never do. When that challenge comes, face it–don’t make excuses and dive in headfirst. People always think that I’m a very confident person who should not fear speaking in public. However, I feel uncomfortable with public speaking, especially when conducting webinars.

You just have to be brave enough to push through your fears and face them. You’ll never know what you can do until you’ve done it. So don’t say you cannot do it or are afraid to. The more you internalise that you can, you are halfway there.

Next, change your posture – I learnt that when you stand in a power or “superhero pose” with your chest out and hands on your hips, your confidence increases. You are then ready to face anything that comes your way. This tip works for me every time!

4. Stay focused

I have Tony Robbins in mind here when he said, “Where focus goes, energy flows.” That’s why I am careful about what I focus my energy on. I don’t play the victim when something doesn’t go my way. Don’t let your anger fester and waste that energy that would come between you and your goal. Instead, use it to drive you even further towards your goals.

Pouring your energy on what you can do instead of dwelling on what went wrong places more importance on moving forward. It directs your passion to more productive pursuits, and it helps you control your fire.

As I mentioned, while having a support system is fantastic, you need to rely on yourself in a crunch. People come and go; or may or may not give you the support you need when you need it. It’s essential to rely on yourself.

So, my fellow tigresses, I wish you the courage to work on that “inside job” and build our inner power. The next time you find yourself a bit uncertain or shaky, look to these tips to become a stronger, fiercer tigress. It’s important to know that you have a solid person to lead you when things fall apart: YOU.