An Empathetic Leader isn’t a Weak Leader

The corporate world is a man’s world. Or that’s what we’ve traditionally been told. If you had asked me in my early days what makes a leader, I would have responded with the qualities that most of my (male) bosses at the time possessed. Confidence, dominance and assertiveness.

This was the environment I spent the early days of my career in, and those were the leaders I knew. So I adapted to shout across a boardroom full of men to make my voice heard! I wasn’t about to let myself fade into the shadows, so I launched myself forward with all of the confidence I could muster.

But as of late, I’ve seen a lot of posts that acknowledge and appreciate the value of empathy in powerful leadership. And frankly, I’m so glad that this conversation is finally out there!

Empathy is such an essential and undervalued trait for a leader to have. In fact, most of my day is spent listening to my team’s concerns and figuring out the best way to address them.

However, many feel that empathy and assertiveness are on two ends of the spectrum. The question then becomes – are empathy and assertiveness mutually exclusive in leadership?

Some would make you believe that a leader has to choose between being understanding and commanding. Let me be the first to tell you that it isn’t so. Empathy and assertiveness are not mutually exclusive. Both are necessary qualities for leadership.

Part of the confusion arises because being “empathetic” and “assertive” are gendered concepts. A woman is expected to be a sensitive leader. On the other hand, a man is always expected to play a more dominating role. But the truth is that, regardless of gender, any leadership position calls for both qualities.

I only made it this far in my role as Creative and Brand Global Head by being both empathetic and decisive. Two traits that this fast-paced digital industry demands.

For instance, when one of my team members comes to me with the challenges they’re facing at work, I make sure to tap into my empathetic side and listen to their issues. I’ll accommodate their needs as best I can.

And afterwards? Well, this is where I believe the importance of assertiveness really comes through. Once I do everything in my power to help a team member adapt, I set out my expectations for them, and then I want to see them deliver.

Women don’t have to be afraid of being assertive. Effective leadership comes from the understanding that you need to keep pushing for excellence – for your organisation, yourself, and especially your team. Anyone who wants to succeed as a leader needs to get comfortable with firmly laying down expectations for a project and trusting that your team members will play the roles required of them and support them in every way you can.

I must admit that I’m not perfect either, and I’m still learning how to navigate the intricacies of leadership. When a crisis strikes or a client comes to me, my default response is to say, “Okay, let’s put strategies in place to make sure this doesn’t happen again. Let’s act and act fast.”

I’m known for being a dynamic and task-driven manager, so I also remind myself to take a step back and make sure I’m as empathetic as possible. And that’s okay! While we’re all trying to strike that elusive balance between being assertive and empathetic, we’ll veer onto either side a little too much at several points in our careers.

So for the ladies out there, don’t feel like you have to choose between assertive or empathetic.

Regardless of what people say, you can be both!