Be the Captain of Your Own Ship

“It’s unfair that I’m not given opportunities to shine, but others are!”

As a mentor, this is a line that I often hear from my mentees. To me, this statement displays a “victim mentality”, and being in this mindset can easily send your self-esteem on a nosedive. What’s worse, it is also somewhat of a self-fulfilling prophecy that can keep you from achieving your goals.

Sometimes you may even think you will not get what you want in life because you’re not “lucky” enough to be born into a wealthy family. You might even feel like using this as an excuse to say that life is unfair to you. The reality is (and we’ve heard this numerous times), life isn’t always fair. But don’t be a victim because of that.

I, too, have had moments when I felt stuck. These moments clouded my vision and made me feel like I couldn’t navigate my way forward. A particular incident comes to mind where I had a great idea that I firmly believed would greatly help the company I was in. At the time, I wanted to share my view with everyone. Unfortunately, I was told it was out of my scope and was held back from cascading it.

It made me feel terrible and defeated. Here I was, being shot down without my idea even getting a chance! There was a time my dad was my captain. The navigator who saw things clearly when I couldn’t. He always had the wisest and sound advice for me. But after my dad’s passing, I had to learn to steer my own ship – especially during the “storms” in my life. Storms such as this.

When my idea wasn’t accepted, I could have easily gone down the “victim rabbit hole”. However, even though my feelings dictated otherwise, I knew that wouldn’t get me anywhere. I decided to scale back and implement my idea where it was viable. Soon enough, the company saw the benefits of what I was trying to accomplish and adopted it for the whole organisation.

This can happen to any of us in different situations. There will be times in your career and life when you feel stagnant and are not going anywhere. At this juncture, it’s pretty easy to play the blame game and fault your workplace, manager, or colleagues. However, instead of pointing fingers, take control and make things happen for yourself!

Here are a few tips on how you can take matters into your own hands:

#1 Be at the top of your game and always be value-adding!

One of the best ways to take charge of your career is to create opportunities for yourself. Ask yourself, “How am I adding value to my manager/team/company/client?”

A good way to do this is by finding solutions to problems plaguing your team’s productivity. Take a look at your processes and see if there are any bottlenecks. If you have an idea of how to address an issue, bring this up with your team. Having initiative is definitely something your organisation would appreciate.

You may also consider updating your skills by taking courses that will be useful in your field. This could also be a good time for you to sit down with your manager to chart the direction of your career path and see what skills are needed to move forward.

#2 Learn from others

One of the things that may cause us to play the victim is envy. When we see others getting ahead or being promoted while we’re seemingly stuck in one place, it’s easy to begrudge them for their success.

However, it actually serves us well to put down our walls and use this as a learning opportunity. Is there anything your colleague is doing better than you? Reach out and see how they help you improve your own skills.

Seek out people who will help add to your skills and knowledge. If you play the victim card, resentment is the only thing you will get.

#3 Ask for what you want

People who complain about not being given opportunities to shine in the workplace may also be approaching the issue from the wrong angle. They may feel like promotions and recognition just magically fall on their colleagues’ laps. The truth is, you have to create these opportunities yourself!

If you want something, you have to be brave enough to ask for it. Take time to figure out what you want, and set up a meeting with your manager. Sometimes, all it takes is to let them know where you want to go. Great leaders will let you shine, especially when they see what you’re good at and where you want to go.

#4 Do it right

This is something I would like to emphasise – while I advocate fighting for your own career and growth, this doesn’t mean sacrificing relationships with your colleagues for your own gain.

I have reached this point in my career by working with people, not against them. Even when you have disagreements with your team or feel that you and your leader aren’t getting along, there is always a way to approach this properly.

Do everything by the book first by talking to your direct supervisors and doing everything you can to make things materialise. It is excellent if they want to help you succeed, as many good leaders do.

However, if that route doesn’t work, and you feel they may not necessarily have your best interests at heart, then find other ways to get your ideas heard. After all, it’s a fine line to tread without stepping on toes but still be heard. At this point, you also need to be ready for pushback or negative feedback. But if you have done everything with positive intentions, then you mustn’t feel guilty.

So the next time you feel stuck or demotivated, don’t feel disheartened. It is a phase in every person’s career path, usually a sign that it is time to take on a new challenge.

It is not going to be easy. Frustration and disappointment are part of this phase, but taking the reins and having an active role in your development will further empower you to steer yourself in the direction you want to take.

Albert Einstein said that “In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.”

Whenever you’re thrown into a challenging situation, treat it as a call to look at things from a different perspective. There may just be something that can turn things around for you.