This week, in our “Grit to Great Coaching with Fe”, the team asked me to share my tips and experience on building confidence and receiving feedback from clients and our line managers, especially with our recent mid-year review where the team received peer feedback. It was an engaging session with discussions and Q&A. Here are the key takeaways from the session:
Confidence is a quality that you need to build over time. Think of yourself as an operating system, and confidence is one of the things that you need to set up and install within yourself for you to function and reach your goals.
1️⃣ It all starts with the right mindset To convey a powerful sense of confidence, one needs to start within.
One of the things that has made a difference for me in this area is practising positive affirmations.
These positive statements can help challenge our negative thoughts about ourselves. So, instead of repeating narratives such as “This is too hard, I can’t handle this,” tell yourself, “I can, and I will get to where I want to be!”
The Self-Affirmation Theory by Claude Steele backs up the power of positive affirmations, but you must practise this regularly to change how you see and feel about yourself.
To get started, choose a phrase and repeat it to yourself regularly.
2️⃣ Build your confidence muscle Once you have ingrained self-belief, it’s time to build your confidence muscle. Like working out, confidence muscles must be flexed daily to get toned and “confidently fit.”
One way to do this is to exercise by doing what you want, even when you are afraid. Channel your positive mindset and face your fears and challenges head-on. It is perfectly natural to feel fear, but avoiding it is the surest way to stay in one place your whole life.
Get used to being uncomfortable. Because easy doesn’t change you!
Remember, whenever you face challenges, you never lose; you win or learn.
3️⃣ Have a solid support system So, you’ve installed a positive mindset and flexed your confidence muscle. The last vital element to building your confidence is ensuring you have a solid support system.
Surround yourself with people who encourage you and challenge you to do better. Find people who will have your back and will not be afraid to tell you what you need to hear. You should keep these within your circle because they have your best interests at heart.
In addition to the established internal system, protect your well-established operating system from external threats. Stay clear of people who stir up negative drama or tell you that you are not good enough or can’t achieve your goals – which eventually will pull you into an unproductive spiral.
Building confidence requires dedication and perseverance. It’s not about becoming someone else but about unlocking your true potential.